Last day of training

Morning:
Got up, still haven't has the dream I want to have. Got ready, put clothes to dry and headed over to Starbucks for coffee and a lemon loaf, it's double star day. The drive was good, found parking, now waiting. Today is our last 2 trainings at 1235. We don't know if tomorrow we go to 2 Gough or if this is our last ride. I hope it's the latter.
The morning training went well,  around 10 people, not too many questions and we got out in about an hour or so.

Afternoon:
Had lunch, found out we are going to 2 Gough tomorrow for 2 trainings. My supervisor said we didn't have to come in to the building, just go there and we can leave when training is done. We have one more to go here and after that it's a wrap for 1235. Have to make a few more copies and when I get home load up the wireless mouse for tomorrow.
The training went as good as one can go. No one wanted to participate,  but they had to. We had 23 in the class. After I made copies and separated them and gave some to Humberto to take with him as we are meeting at 10 at 2 Gough.
After that I walked to the car and headed home. I fixed the dining room tables the leg came off and we went to Target.

Nighttime:
Got back, made dinner and now putting Gabriel to bed. Very irritating day today. Some people are so selfish and don't care about others and they are hypocritical about it. So pissed, makes me not want to celebrate my birthday with anyone this year. Tired of people's bullsh*t. Anyway, about to watch some tv and go to bed.

I thought about you...

It took me 12 days to start this. I wanted to start this a few days ago, gathering my thoughts about my Dad and what I wanted to write about to share with everyone, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I have been putting off writing this because I do not want this part of my life where my Dad is no longer here with us to be real. I understand what happened and I understand that it is a part of life and it is real, but sitting back and reflecting on my Dad to find the words to express how great of a Father, mentor, inspiration, hero and Man he is, would make this surreal moment in my life too real.
On April 17, 2019 at 11:58 PM, my Dad, Jose Heliodoro Narvaez Miranda took his final breath in his own home in Jinotepe, Nicaragua. My sister held his hand, I held his head and we both let him know that it was OK to let go and to go rest. He was 73 years old. The lead up to that moment was rough and to be honest, it made me angry and grow resentment to the whole town of Jinotepe, to where I do not plan on returning. But that part of this story, that unfortunate, hurtful part of this journey will not be talked about here.
Well, what can I say about my Dad? He was kind, stubborn, sweet, hard, funny, serious and loving. He was a great role model, provider and inspiration. He was also human, so there were moments that we would prefer didn't happen but that is life. In his younger days my Dad was a Firefighter for the Fire Department in his home town of Jinotepe. He was always proud of that and continued to be linked to the Fire Department when he returned back to Nicaragua to live. One story that I know he was proud of and I treasure is that my parents got married in December of 1972 and the very next day after they were married an earthquake hit in Managua and my Dad, just married went to help with his Firefighter brothers. I have the certificate he received for doing what he loved, helping others.
My parents, sister and brother moved to the United States in the 80's, I was the lone one that was born in the states (Yes, with Red, White and Blue blood). My Dad was always a hard worker and he provided us with what we needed.
I remember my Dad worked 2 jobs, he worked at Larkspur Landing and with a janitorial company. I remember always wanting to go to work with him and sometimes he would take me to work and it would be the highlight of my day. I remember he would tell me to stop taking the coins out of the fountain and let me wander around the shops. I can remember numerous outings we had to San Francisco Giants games both at Candlestick Park and Pacific Bell/SBC/AT&T and now Oracle park. For the last season the Giants played at Candlestick Park, I really wanted to go to the last game and my Dad got us the Baker's Dozen ticket package that got us those tickets. I also remember the 49ers game we went to and watched on TV, the trips to Disneyland, Universal studios, Mexico and countless other places that we didn't really appreciate in the moment as kids. But I see the importance of those experiences now.
My Dad put up with a lot of my interests, WWF (now WWE) and Michael Jackson (especially Thriller). My Dad would get me the wrestling figures, take me to get the magazines and would pay for the PPV when I wanted to watch them and I think that is why I still watch wrestling to this day. One important thing that my Dad taught me was how to keep score of a baseball game, that bond we shared was something special and I truly think that my love for baseball is from those days when we would keep score together. I still do to this day and proudly tell people that I know because my Dad taught me. I remember the 1989 Earthquake in San Francisco, we were watching the World Series and my parents went to work to check in. It was a scary time.
When my parents got divorced I don't really think that I fully understood why and I for sure didn't know how to handle that, I really only kept to myself. I had gone with my Mom and my siblings went with my Dad. I eventually went to live with my Dad and be with my sister and brother. Looking back on that I know that although I didn't have to, I felt I needed to grow up and just understand things as how they are. My Dad continued to work hard and he worked nights. I remember every Friday night fighting to stay up to wait for my Dad to bring home burritos to eat when he was off of work in the AM. Eventually my Dad had back surgery, he was OK for some time, but then he had 2 more back surgeries and 1 surprise neck surgery. He went from being able to walk, using a cane, to a walker to a wheelchair. It must have been torture for him to be have that taken away from him and see that he could not do what he could do before.
I can only imagine the mental strain it had on my Dad, but I don't remember him really showing any anger and resent me toward the situation. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but I don't remember a time that this happened, maybe my mind doesn't want me to remember something like that. When my Dad basically lost all his ability to stand or walk, I tried hard to find a way to help him with him being able to help himself as well. I found ways where he could put most of the work to get up, shower or do other things so he wouldn't feel that someone else had to do that for him. I also tried to do it in a way where I was showing him that I was there with him and ready to help because he needed it, not a situation where we did anything because we felt sorry for him. My Dad was a prideful man.
We did joke around a lot with my Dad about the things that he did and how he took his medications, but we never did it out of malice, it is just how we are, we joke to pass the time and we still would do whatever he needed us to do.
When my wife and I found out that we were having a boy, I wanted him to have my Dad's initials, JHN and my Dad's middle name. Our son was born in 2012 and we named him Javier Heliodoro Narvaez. Javi doesn't realize it now, but he is named after a great man, a great father and my hero. He got to enjoy close to 7 years with his Grandpa and he was sad when I told him what happened. Gabriel Antonio Narvaez; our second son was born in 2017, he had less than 2 years with his Grandpa, but one thing I noticed was that Gabriel was always curious with my Dad and the wheelchair. Several times when I assisted my Dad with things to clean up, there would be curious Gabriel lurking around the corner to see what was going on. With both of them I will tell them stories and share pictures of their Grandpa and the good times that we shared.
Looking back, I am at peace with my relationship with my Dad. Sure there were bad times and misunderstandings, but there were way more good times to remember. My Dad was able to see me go from a boy to a man, seeing me graduate college, get married in a civil ceremony and was able to participate in our Church wedding, he was able to meet and hold my 2 sons and see that I have a great job and that I have a great family. There were things that I did for my Dad that I did not envision ever doing, but they had to be done.
In the end, my sister and I had to make really difficult decisions that were made more difficult by people who will remain nameless. He wanted to go out on his terms and we helped him with that. We didn't realize the impact that he had on his hometown of Jinotepe and the Fire Department until we saw all they did for him. The Fire Department helped us getting from the hospital to the house, after his passing they promoted him from Captain to Major. The day of the funeral the took him around town in the Fire Truck and had the siren's on for him. He is buried in the tomb for Fire Fighters and he was buried in his uniform, looking great, in peace and not suffering anymore. I know that my Dad was listening to us in those last days and wee were able to help him one last time and send him off the way he deserved.
It still hurts like hell and doesn't seem real. It will never stop hurting and never seem real. Everyday after work my Dad was the first person I would call. We would ask each other how our day was and he would ask me about my wife and kids. He always said everything was OK. The last conversation I had  with him was on 4/9/19 at 4:16 PM for 41 seconds. He said he went out to the park, everything was the same and OK, asked about Ulisa and the boys and thanked me for calling.
All I can do now is Thank him for everything and hope I get to see him again in my dreams.

An excerpt from Tim McGraw's 'I thought about you'
'I thought about songs that make us feel better,
I thought about faith that ties it all together
I thought about now, then thought about forever
I thought about fire and how we walked through it
The times I got it right, the times we blew it
I thought about real, I thought about good, I thought about true
and I thought about you
I thought about you
I thought about me
I thought about God
Everything love is
and everything it's not
I saw a red balloon somebody just let fly
I watched it gettin' smaller up in the sky
for a minute or two
And I thought about you

New week

Morning:
Got up, got dressed. My stomach is hurting a bit. Made my coffee and headed out. The drive was ok, found parking and now waiting to start walking to work. 2 trainings today, 2 more tomorrow, hope they go well.
The morning training went well,  about 15 people in the class and now we are on break. Going to have lunch and I think I may get an iced coffee later.

Afternoon:
Ate lunch, hung out a bit and went out for the iced coffee. Came back, typed up some thing and went to get ready for the PM training. It was less than am hour and wait went well. Still have 2 more to go tomorrow.
After I headed out to walk to the car and get the kids at my sister's house. Came home, started laundry, got the kids ready for swim class and off we went.
Swim class was good for both boys.

Nighttime:
We went to get some Chinese food,  we had duck and Javi still likes it and eats it. After we bathed the boys quickly and put Gabriel to bed. I brushed Javi's teeth and showered and now I am hanging out watching tv before bed.

Sunday morning

Morning:
Got up before 7. Gabriel had a bottle. I made Javi have cereal with milk. After we were watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in Spanish,  Paw Patrol and an episode of Ryan that Javi wanted to see. About to take the boys outside so they can play in the front of the house.

Afternoon:
We got ready and went off to see a condominium and 2 houses. Theb2nd house we like best. After we drove to the Outback steakhouse for lunch and I was a bad experience. Gabriel was acting up, the food was eh. We came home and chilled for the rest of the time.
We watched Escape Room and bathed the boys. I played I Uno with Javi and put Gabriel to bed a bit early.

Nighttime:
After putting Gabriel to sleep,  I came out and took a shower, after brushed Javi's teeth and took him to bed. He wanted me to draw him a picture of a Bunny from the Ugly Doll movie, so I did and I will leave it for him. Going to zone out and watch some tv.
It's still not real to me. I know it happened right in front of me, but I don't want to believe it. I keep wishing and praying to see my Dad again in my dreams to see he is ok. It's been over a week and not yet. Hopefully tonight is the night

We're in the Endgame now...

Morning:
Got up, got coffee and finished Glass. Went outside to play with the kids and now dropping them off, we are on our way to see Avengers: Endgame.

Afternoon:
We saw the movie and it was really good. Emotional and a great wrap up to the story. Now picking up the kids. After we went to in and out burger and came home.

Nighttime:
Took a quick nap. Got up, put Gabriel to sleep and now watching tv.

Last day of this week

Morning:
I don't want to go to work. I don't feel like training. Not happy right now  for obvious reasons. But I still get up, I still get ready and I still drive to work. Found good parking and now just waiting to walk to work and do the 2 trainings today. I don't like the schedule of training of Wednesday to Tuesday,  I prefer Monday through Friday. But oh well, let's see how it goes.
The morning training went well, right now I am just not into it. But I am trying my best to keep it light and entertaining. It's like the song says 'if there's a smile on my face, it's only there trying to fool the public'.
After I just really wanted to go home, one of the people in training was in tears over something trying get sympathy from others. I just put my head down and not talk to anyone, I don't need that from people.

Afternoon:
Watched a bit of Netflix while having lunch. Stayed at my desk trying to check out some things. Now in the training room, waiting for  2 PM to get this party started.
Conducted the training. It went well, there were a lot of questions and discussions about items covered. After I went to get gas and came home.

Nighttime:
We went out for sushi and came back home. Gabriel fell asleep in the car, he woke up after I showered and now I am putting him back to sleep.
He went to sleep, I came out and brushed Javi's teeth. We started watching Glass. We about 20 minutes or so to go before it's over. But we are going to bed.

Have to power through

Morning:
Got up, still not feeling too well. I went to get r ready, made coffee and drove to work. There was a bit of heavy traffic due to a car accident. But I was able to get a good parking spot. I do not want to be in at work today, but I have to power through to get these done.
I got in and checked in. Made another set of copies of the packets and went to do the trainings. The first one went well for what it was, then one of the managers came over and was a little out of pocket with Humberto so I pulled our supervisor to the side and we talked about it. Probably won't resolve anything,  but we told him.

Afternoon:
Forgot my lunch so I went to buy a sandwich and an iced coffee. Watched the last episode of season 4 of Black Mirror. The second training was interesting. It was only 6 people and one of the supervisors was about to get hit upside the head. Asking dumb questions and making stupid comments. Anyway after I came home and put away the trash bins and tried to go send my sister in law some money via Western union. However it was offline.

Nighttime:
Got to my sister's house and went to serramonte to get some food. After we came home and bathed the boys and put Gabriel to sleep. Brushed Javi's teeth and now watching tv until bed.

It begins...

Morning:
Got up, my stomach was hurting, I don't want to go to work, but it's the start of training.  I got ready, made my coffee and headed out. The drive was good and now I am parked, waiting for the time to walk to work. Today we being our training with one session starting at 2. It could be a s#&t show or something very good. I vote for the latter.
I got in and sent my check in email. I printed 50 sets of the materials. We reviewed and decided to just do it live.

Afternoon:
I had lunch. We got ready for the training and I think it went well. Tomorrow we will be trying a different order to see which one worked best and go from there. After I went to get the kids and came home as we were going to church for the anniversary of my father in law's passing.

Nighttime:
After church we dropped my mother in law at home and went to Target. We came back home to have dinner and now I am putting Gabriel to sleep.
He finally went to sleep. Came out and washed some dishes and bottles. Washed Javi's teeth and took a shower. Watched a little bit of tv, now off to bed. Still not feeling well.

Hope

Morning:
Got up, got ready, put clothes to wash and dry. Made coffee and headed out to work. Traffic was smooth, got good parking. Today I hope that the materials are done. We start training tomorrow and need this to go well.
Got in to work and checked in.  We reviewed the documents and still a lot to be done. I talked to the payroll to clear up the issue of bereavement leave and when I told him what was going on,  he laughed at me,  3 times. I just finished telling him my dad passed away and that a hole laughed.

Afternoon:
I calmed down a bit and had lunch. Filled in my supervisor on what the guy did and we went to practice the training materials. It looks like we may pull it off, but I am very disappointed in the team for leaving this to the last minute.
Got home and we went to Costco to get a few things and came back.

Nighttime:
Watched a little bit of smackdown live and kind of fell asleep. Javi was reading a book and Gabriel came out and we played for a bit. I tried putting him to sleep, but that didn't work out so well. My wife took over, I brushed Javi's teeth and took him to bed, I showered and after watched tv until going to sleep.

And it continues...

Morning:
Got up, tired, didn't sleep much. Got ready and made coffee and headed out to work. The drive was good, no traffic and now parked. I have training prep today.
Got in to work and had 79 emails. I checked in and we had our training preparation session and we need to update a lot of things.

Afternoon:
Emailed Cristobal about the document he made, sent payment for Javier's after school program and walked over to 1440. Hung out and talked to a few people and now just waiting to go get the kids.
I got to my sister's house and my mom and brother were there. I dropped my mom off at Ford to get her car. I came home to get ready for swimming class.
The boys had a great time.

Nighttime:
Went to get dinner, burritos and came home, ate, bathed the boys. Put Gabriel to sleep and now going to watch some wrasslin'

Home

Morning:
Got up, came out to the living room with Javi. He read a book to me and after we talked about my trip and what happened to my Dad. I think he got the general concept of it. I showed him a few pictures I recovered and a few I took. About to make coffee and soon maybe cut my hair and shave.

Afternoon:
Drove my mom's car to her house with Javi and Gabriel. Found a good parking spot not too far away from the house. Went in and visited my Aunt Myriam and Aunt Nora. My wife passed by to pick us up and we went over to the park to meet for the Easter BBQ.
We had a good time, I gave everyone what I wanted to give them and we had fun. After we drove to Mitchell's for ice cream.
The car wouldn't start so we asked Danny if he could come by and help us jump start the car and he did.

Nighttime:
Drove home, Arnel came by to pick up some things we had for Allix. We talked for a. It and he went home. I put Gabriel to bed, showered and now it's pretty late and I got to go to work tomorrow. I still have a few things to do that I am being lazy about, but I'll get them done.

Last day here

Morning:
It's my last day in Nicaragua. My Dad was laid to rest last night and my heart is happy about that. We went to bed around 1 or 2 am. Woke up around 6:30 am. Took a shower, got ready and waited to leave. My sister took care of some last minute things and I went with my cousin to get gas before we left.
The drive was a comedy of errors. I was so stressed. We were going to meet Elmora at the airport to give us some things for Ulisa and her mom. It tool our cousin way longer to get there. Including going the wrong way, asking several people for directions and a race against the clock.
We finally made it, saw Elmira and William and went to check in. Right now I am drinking a latte with Flor de Caña 25 shot in it and it is not good.

Afternoon:
Plane is about to take off. Leaving my Dad resting in peace now. I don't know when I will return, but I know my Dad is always with me. Off to San Salvador.
Got on the plane and took off, we were delayed 40 minutes.

Nighttime:
Waiting to get off the plane to get our stuff and go home. Our luggage came out late when we finally got it we were able to take it to the car and go home.
Spent some time talking to my wife about what went on in Nicaragua with my Dad and now about to go to sleep. I hope now that we are safe, back at home, that my Dad will visit me in my dreams tonight. I would like to walk with him again.

Good Friday

Morning:
Got up, tired. Today we take my Dad's vessel and finally lay him to his eternal resting place. Last night my sister was telling me she was nervous about how she would feel and be during the process. I told her be strong as much as possible,  we don't know how we will be at the cemetery. I think that is where we will lose it.
Had bean soup for breakfast. It's around 10:10 am here, still need to get dressed. They are coming around 12:30 to get this going.

Afternoon:
Here we go, it's almost time to go. Got to get up the strength to do this. Got ready and before I knew it, the fire truck was outside. They came in, we said our goodbye in the home with my Dad. We went outside and started walking behind the fire truck. First stop was the church. St. Antonio. After a blessing we went out again and walked over to the park near other church.
The comandante said a few words about my Dad, he said he was a founding member, he was brave and helped with the fire relief after the 1972 Earthquake here in Nicaragua (which happened on my mom and dad's wedding night)
He also mentioned that when my Dad came back to live here, he went right back to helping them out. Donating and other things. After we passed by the house so my Dad could have one last ride by and say goodbye.
We walked behind the fire engine and went to the cemetery. Helped them bring down my Dad and guide him into the tomb. We said our last goodbyes and they sealed it up and now, we are back home. Going to rest for a bit before I start packing.

Nighttime:
Our last night here. Ready to go home. Have had a few beers, threw a lot of things away. Been giving most of the things to one of my nephews here. About to watch this procession that passes by the house and finish packing up. Almost packed and ready to go.
Tired and I want to go to sleep. Almost done with what we have to do, I'm about to go to bed.

Thursday

Morning:
Well, like I said in my previous post. My Dad finally let go and that was ordeal. I helped my Aunt get my Dad ready for the casket. We got him dressed in his uniform and placed him in the casket. Now, more work to do. Have to clear the house for the viewing.
About to get some rest. It's almost 4 in the morning here. In a few I will get up and move more things out.
Well, I didn't. I stayed in the room and let the maid clean up and someone came to haul things out of here. Just finished showering. Waiting for Elmira to visit.
There like a lot going on here. The firefighters are putting up a canopy, we set up the cross and they sent a floral arrangement and it's really too much, coming too fast.

Afternoon:
Had lunch and Elmira came by with her kids, parents and uncle. We had a good time, talking and catching up. Had a fun conversation with Ale. Finally met Edgard and William. They are good kids, going to see if we bring the boys over for some time to hang out with their family.

Nighttime:
The viewing has started and people have been filtering in. It's hard, I don't know most of these people and I don't know who was actually good to my Dad and who took advantage of him. I'm just sitting here haveling some Toña's and just trying to enjoy the last night with my Dad's vessel. I video chatted with my wife and the boys. Javi asked where Grandpa was, I again told him he was still sleeping, that he was sick. He said ok. Going to see how I break it to him when I get back.
On Toña number 6. Good buzz, helping me deal with the people coming in. I cannot be certain of the sincerity or if they are full of it. The beer in me is telling the latter of the two.

Wednesday

Morning:
Time passes so slow here. It feels like I slept for a long time, but based on the clock it hasn't been that long. My Dad continues the same, still just there.
His BP goes up and down, fever continues, we tried giving him tylenol and water. Spent the morning hanging out and going to stay in with Dad while they go out to handle some things.

Afternoon:
Still in the same situation. We changed my Dad and put some creams on him. He is dead weight right now. He is just breathing as an automatic response. He is no longer here. I wish he would just let go and be in peace so he will not have to suffer.

Nighttime:
Dad is still here. They are praying over him. I really hope my Dad hears our pleas and lets go so he can rest. I hope God hears our prayers to send him over safe and to walk again along side him.
Been sitting here, waiting, talking, passing the time. About to sleep soon and again going to pray for my Dad's peaceful passing

Update:
Major Jose Heliodoro Narvaez Miranda was called up to heaven at 11:58 PM, peacefully in his home surrounded by family. I thank the lord that he had mercy on my dad. He walks again in the kingdom of God.

Tuesday

Morning:
Could get to sleep right away last night. But I'm up now, getting ready to go to the hospital and wait with Dad. Let's see how that goes today. I got to the hospital and met my Sister. That hospital is a shit show. If it wasn't for me seeing the way they treated us and my Dad. I would not believe it. I stayed there and helped the rude lady bathe my Dad and chilled after.

Afternoon:
My sister came by and we were finally able to get my Dad out of that place. The firefighters helped us with transportation to the house. We went to the cemetery and picked put the site where he will be when the time comes.
Came back to the house and just been here, dealing with this surreal situation.

Nighttime:
My Dad is sleeping, we are looking through things and finding some interesting pictures that we heard were rumors but now have confirmed. Yup, yup, yup. So we have been talking and telling stories while my Dad is here listening to us. About to head to bed.

Monday

Morning:
Up early to go to the hospital to get an update. When we come back it's shower time.
Well, the update wasn't ideal. Now the doctor is saying that the recovery will be longer and that basically my Dad will be in a vegetative state. He would need an oxygen machine and a care taker to do physical activities with him while he is in bed. This is not what they told me yesterday. We signed a DNR form and eventhough we know that was what my Dad wanted, my sister is feeling bad and judged. But you know what? Fu*k them! We know what my dad wants and we will make it happen for him.
When we are kids our parents make the tough decisions for us. As adults,  we make the tough decisions for them.
I had to call my brother to tell him. I didn't want to, I thought it should wait until after he got off of work, but my mom said to do it now.
After that we went to the bank, to change money and to get some items for lunch. Now we are back home, waiting for 2.

Afternoon:
Finally took a shower. Rested up a bit. We looked through some paperwork and found somethings that we may need to help with the proof that my Dad is the owner of the house. The lawyer our cousin brought is supposed to be on the way over and after we go see my Dad.

Nighttime:
Man oh man, I can't with this place. They finally moved my Dad to a private room after forcefully making this happen. When we got to the room, it looks like my Dad is being kept alive by the oxygen and food tube, which is what my Dad did not want. He is in a vegetative state and he did not want that. We told the doctor to take out the tube and the oxygen, she said ok. We called Will, Alexia, Charles and my Mom so they can say their final words to my Dad and they did. Then after all that another doctor says nope.
So we spent all that emotion and stress and nothing to help my Dad. My sister stayed in the hospital and I came home. Going to get rest and go back in the morning. I said good bye to my Dad just in case.

Sunday

Morning:
Got some pretty good rest last night. It was hard to sleep at first, but once I went down, I was out. I feel pretty rested but obviously would like some more. It's humid out here.
Another person came in and said that they helped my Dad but we can't confirm that.
The plan today is to go to  the hospital and wait for the update and visit at 2.

Afternoon:
My dad was looking much better. Still a long ways to go, but he seems better. Not responding as much as we would like, but there is hope.
We came back to my Dad's house and have been resting, we are going to see what happens next.

Nighttime:
We went back to the hospital and stayed for a bit. We came back to the house. We have someone there that will call us if anything happens. Went to get enchiladas and tacos. They were really good. Now hanging out here at the house.

Unexpected travel day

Morning:
Not very happy right now. I have some anxiety and I really don't want to go. I wish that I wasn't forced into going at this moment. I wanted to wait to get a better grasp of the situation, but here we are. At the airport they could not find my name on the list for the plane, even after I checked in. But they settled it, now waiting for the gate to open so we can go inside.
Got in and got scanned, now on the plan. In business class, first row. Spacious. Now we wait to take off.

Afternoon:
Slept a lot on the first plane, some on the second. We got to Nicaragua and took a taxi to Jinotepe. When we got here we put things away and headed to the hospital. My sister went in first and she said she tried talking to my dad and he did not respond. I went in after and I touched his wrist and said hey, and he moved. Started breathing fast and slowed down and went back to no response.

Nighttime:
I waited there while they went to eat something. When they came back we walked back to my dads house. Tomorrow we are going back. Going to try and sleep.

I got nothing

Morning:
Slept ok, wish I could have had a bit more sleep. Got up and got dressed. Put clothes to dry and made my coffee. Headed out to work. Traffic was smooth, now parked and waiting to walk to work.
I feel emotionally drained right now, I don't know what today will hold for me, I am dreading any phone calls.
Spoke to my sister this morning,  my Dad is still in the same condition. Not awake and apparently has some liquid in his brain. Got to my desk, checked in and tried to distract myself from everything.

Afternoon:
Walked to 1440, went to Costco,  walked over to the food trucks with Cynthia and came back and talked to Karla for some time. Got another update that my Dad will be going to Managua. My wife keeps asking me if I want to go see my Dad. I have thought about it and at this point I feel that it would be best for me not to go. I don't trust anyone down there, I know they have been taking advantage of my Dad and at this time I may go off on someone and that is not something I want to do.
After work in walked to the car. It's a nice day. Drove home, played with the kids for a bit. Soon we will be going out to eat.
I feel an anger and frustration within me that I don't think people can fully understand. I am trying to process through it right now and see if I do go through the process of FMLA to go see what's going on as well with my Dad. But in my heart I truly feel that it may not go well. These people that have taken advantage of my Dad may unleash something in me that I don't want anyone to see.

Nighttime:
We ate at El Zocalo,  let's just say that I don't think I'll be going back there. Got home, my wife spent all night trying to convince me to go with my Mom and Sister to see my Dad. I was able to settle some things at work and I got the ticket. I leave tomorrow and come back next Saturday. I'm really scared to go. Going to get some rest.

Another day closer to the weekend

Morning:
Missed my first alarm. Woke up at 6. Made Gabriel a bottle and went to get dressed and made coffee and headed out to work. Traffic was smooth and glad I found parking  in my normal area. Let's see what happens today.
Got in and pretty much been doing nothing. Before lunch I have to print something out.

Afternoon:
Printed out the thing, still not doing anything. Waiting for our unit meeting.
The meeting was about an hour, there are a lot of things that need to be done still, but we are kind of stuck. After walked to the car and drove to my sister's house to get the kids.
Got the boys and came home. It's super windy and cold. Played with the kids a bit and started laundry.

Nighttime:
Got a call from the guy that helps my Dad. He said he had been trying to get a hold of my sister since my Dad is in the hospital and is doing bad. He wanted approval to have the ER send him to the ICU. I called my sister, no answer. Called Alexia and she did answer, I tried to 3 way to my Dad's number and nothing, it kept hanging up. I told them to call ASAP and apparently whatever they were doing was important at the moment because the guy called me back and I asked him to explain what was going on and I gave him permission to have the hospital do what they needed to do to help my Dad.
Being honest I am very upset. I got an text from Alexia's phone asking me to text the number, a number that should already be saved on her phone. I get it, Alexia doesn't care enough to call, but at least store the number,  especially after everything my Dad did for her.
I had called my mom and someone called her and she hung up on me. At that point I just didn't want to talk to anyone. It took 2 hours for me to finally answer a phone call.
It seems now that my Dad is in a comatose state, not responsive so far and depending on how he reacts to treatment he will be ok, if he doesn't react well, I no longer may have a Dad. I already lost one, don't know what I would do or how I would react to that news.
I am trying to mentally prepare myself for anything. But it's really hard. I talked to him yesterday and he thanked me for calling. I always try to call every day, most days we check in, some days due to the connection we don't get that chance.
I am about to go to sleep and I don't know what is going to happen while I sleep, I hope God looks over him and whatever happens next that God takes care of him.

Back to our regularly scheduled program

Morning:
Got up, got Gabriel a bottle, went to get dressed, made coffee and headed out to work. The drive was ok, found parking in one of the last spots in my primary parking area. Going to nap and then start the walk to work.
Got in and saw that the MC topics were reduce to one. The forum was ok, but long. After I went to my desk.

Afternoon:
Had lunch and watched the Giants game,  they lost, now waiting for time to go home.
Got home, took out the trash and headed to Target to get some things before getting the boys. We got to my sister's house and hung out for a bit.

Nighttime:
Got home, bathed both boys. Played some games with Javi and now trying to put Gabriel to bed.
He went to sleep, but whole I was washing his bottle and getting things ready he threw up again. After a bit my wife put the kids to bed and she came back out. We watched some tv and now going to bed.

Smackdown Live After Wrestlemania

Morning:
Missed my first alarm. My wife woke me up and I went to get Gabriel a bottle and put clothes to dry. Got dressed and made coffee and headed out. Traffic was smooth and found parking. Have a webinar later and a pre forum meeting.
Got to work, it's cold. Checked in and have been doing pretty much nothing. Got some things ready for forum tomorrow and also about to do that webinar.
That webinar was really boring, the topic is good in a sense because it talks about how to connect with older clients, but there seemed to be a string focus on social media. I highly doubt that older clients follow any of our accounts on there. But anyway off to eat leftover meatloaf.

Afternoon:
Had lunch, watched some Black Mirror and started my walk to 1440. Got here, did some work, went to go look for a few people. Talked to Cynthia for a bit and came back to print out a few things to review before the meeting. Very irritated at the moment, but I hope it passes. They want me to make decisions on things I should not be making decisions on.
During the pre forum meeting we talked about what would be discussed. After I stayed with 2 of my unit folks and discussed how we wanted to present the materials and maybe try to do a practice round via the Skype teleconference. After I came home to get the kids and go visit Allix.

Nighttime:
We went to get food and to visit Arnel, Priscilla and Allix. We had a good time, caught up on somethings. Today Allix turned 1 month. After we came home, put clothes away, put Gabriel to sleep and brushed Javi's teeth, after tool a shower and watched Smackdown Live and will check out a few shows before bed.

RAW after Wrestlemania

Morning:
Got up, made Gabriel a bottle. Went to go get dressed and made my coffee and headed out to work. The drive was good,  had to go to my 3rd parking area, the other 2 are full early. Have to do some reviewing today and later swimming classes with the boys and RAW.
Get to work and there are fire trucks outside. They finally let us in and the alarm goes on and off several times. I asked one of the managers and he said to ignore it as they are testing it out.
About to head to Walgreens to get some eye patches for Javi.
Got the eye patches and came back to my desk. Started to listen to a webinar and it was a waste of time. Have to listen to another one later.

Afternoon:
Had left over wingstop. Now listening to the 2nd webinar I need to so I can catch up for tomorrow. Hopefully it's  better than the one earlier today. It was not, reviewed that and tomorrow there is another. I have to gather some things for training. After headed out to my car and went to pick up the kids and drove home.

Nighttime:
Got the kids ready to go swimming. They had a good time. After we came home, had dinner. I bathed Gabriel,  my wife bathed Javi. After I put Gabriel to bed and took a shower. Washed clothes and Javi went to bed, now watching some shows.

Wrestlemania has arrived

Morning:
Got up and got ready. Had coffee and headed out to the storage room to help clean out a few things and get my luggage out.

Afternoon:
Finally done and headed home. Today I wear my "The Man" shirt. It's Wrestlemania day. Can't wait.
Got home, showered, went to the park. Passed by Target getting a few things and came home to prepare the meatloaf for tomorrow, wash dishes, order wingstop and started watching Wrestlemania.

Nighttime:
My brother,  Monica, Myrna and Cullo came over. They stayed until around 7 ish. Still watching Wrestlemania and gave the boys a bath. Went out to wash the dishes and clean up a bit. Now in the room putting Gabriel to sleep.
Came out and finished watching Wrestlemania and she did it! The Man is the champ. Becky Lynch won. Kofi won, we finished watching Holmes and Watson and off to bed.

Wrestlemania week day #6

Morning:
Got up, took the kids out. Made breakfast and cleaned out the coffee machine.  Fell asleep on the couch for a bit. Tried watching a movie. Going to wear my Bret Hart shirt in honor of the Hart Foundation being inducted.

Afternoon:
My wife and her mom went out to eat. I stayed at home with the kids. When they got back we went to Tanforan and took the kids to the Bounce Place. After came home to drop off the kids, went over to Safeway to send my Dad some money. Came home to watch the rest of the WWE HOF ceremony.

Nighttime:
Helped make dinner for the kids. Helped Javi count the money in his piggy bank. Changed Gabriel and put him to bed. After washed bottles and dishes. Hung out a bit with my wife and when she went to bed I watched the beginning of the HOF ceremony. About to go to bed.

Wrestlemania week day #5

Morning:
Got up, got dressed, wearing my Happy Rusev Day shirt today. Put clothes to dry and made my coffee and headed out to work. The drive was good, however it is raining now as I sit in my car. Going to start walking to work soon. Have a meeting and have to view 2 webinars today. 8 hours between me and the weekend.
Got in, sent my email out. Met with Cristobal and started to get my things ready for my part of the training. Hung out the rest of the time. The Giants have their home opener today, so I did my usual printing out of the score card so I can keep score.

Afternoon:
Had lunch and soon going to get coffee. First pitch at 1:35 (depending on rain).
Kept score for as long as I could until I had to do some work, lasted around 5 innings. Headed home at around 4:10, listened to the last inning of the game. The Giants lost. Drove home, got everyone in the car and headed out to Red Lobster for dinner. After we came home.

Nighttime:
Changed Gabriel and had Javi change. I washed the bottles, showered and then put Gabriel to bed. After Javi went to bed and I started watching some of NxT Takeover. Might watch another match or two and go to sleep, leave the rest for tomorrow.

Wrestlemania week day #4

Morning:
Got up, dressed, made coffee and headed out. Wear the Seth Rollins shirt again. Headed out, traffic was light, now parked. Waiting to start walking to work.
Walked to work, got in and checked things out. I ended up doing my security awareness training to get that out of the way. About to have lunch and head out to Walgreens to get a soda or a monster.

Afternoon:
Walked over to Walgreens and go a coke and some chocolate. Back to my desk, I was working on a few things and got a headache before our unit meeting. The meeting went ok, got my next few assignments. I will be going over some items with Cristobal about entering the SSI/SSP income. I have to also research a few things for next week's forum. After I walked to the car, came home, picked up my wife, went to Target and after picked up the kids.

Nighttime:
Got home, had dinner and helped bathe both boys, put Gabriel to sleep, just washed Javi's teeth and he was off to bed. Now a shower and putting the last of the clothes to wash.
Done with ev everything. Fell asleep on the couch. Off to bed.

Wrestlemania week day #3

Morning:
I woke up at 4 in the morning and my stomach was hurting a lot. Used the bathroom and went back to bed. Woke up before my alarm,  not at 100%. My ear still feels hallow and I have to be careful with loud noises. Got dressed and drove to work. Traffic was smooth, found parking quick and now waiting for time to start walking. Starting at 1440 today, going to 2 Gough with Monika to do 2 trainings.
Since there is training today I cannot wear a wrestling shirt so I have my Red and Black nWo beanie.
Got to 1440, checked in and walked over to 2 Gough with Monika. The first training went well, besides a small hiccup with the audio for the Skype call in portion. About to go to lunch.

Afternoon:
Had some Chinese food and came back to the training room. We are doing the 2nd training, our new unit member is doing my part so she can get one out of the way.
Training is done, walked to the car, drove home. Took the garbage out, changed my shirt to a Seth Rollins shirt and now picking up the kids at my sister's.
We got there and hung out a bit. After Dominic threw up we decided to leave. We came home and hung out for some time.

Nighttime:
Finally got my Slam Crate and what a disappointment. Oh well, anyway played with the kids. Showered, watched some tv and talked to Arnel for a bit, he video chatted with me while holding Allix. After I headed to bed. Tired.

Wrestlemania week Day #2

Morning:
Got up, got dressed and put clothes to dry. Made coffee and headed out. The drive was good, got good parking. On this 2nd day of Wrestlemania week I am wearing a Razor Ramon t-shirt. Hopefully today is better than yesterday.
The morning was good. I made the copies for the training tomorrow and had an early lunch.

Afternoon:
Walked over to 1440. Talked to Rebekah, Maria and Cynthia before I had a chat with Amilcar. I went to my temporary space and did some work, went to talk to Denise for a bit and went to the pre forum meeting. Sent an email and walked to the car to head home.
When I got home, we headed out to Costco to get a few things and came home.

Nighttime:
Bathed the boys, put Gabriel to sleep, while inwas reading with Javi, Gabriel threw up and my wife had to change him. I brushed Javi's teeth and sent him to bed. Tool a shower and now watching some tv.

Wrestlemania week day #1

Morning:
Got up, got dressed and headed out to work. Traffic was smooth, but it is cold this morning. Found good parking and now waiting for time to start walking to work. Today is day 1 of Wrestlemania week, today's shirt is Randy Orton's RKO #OuttaNoWhere shirt.
The morning went well, I read the last of the survey results and they looked good. I didn't feel like working much today as I was still not feeling good.

Afternoon:
Had lunch, watched Netflix and went back to my desk. Troubleshooted some cases and met Amilcar at Peet's for coffee. When I came back I printed some things out and headed to my car to go get the kids at my sister's.
Gabriel is not feeling well, so Javi was the only one going swimming. He did well and after we came home.

Nighttime:
Got home, for some reason my wife has the attitude against me where I could not even get a drink from the fridge so I can eat. It is what it is, I changed Gabriel,  just finished helping Javi shower and now trying to put Gabriel to sleep. Maybe I eat after, who knows. Had dinner and watche tv. After went to bed.