It's been around 8 months now, it hasn't gotten any easier, the pain, sadness and anger is still there. But we find a way to adjust. Today would have been my Dad's 74th birthday. I don't know how the day will go, but I do know that my Dad's memory will be with me. Since that time that my Dad passed away, I have had only a handful of times that he has visited me in my dreams.
But I see and feel my Dad around me more often than not. There are times that I see him in the way my kids act, the way I act and I remember good times that make us laugh out loud when out doing everyday activities.
Since I returned to work after my Dad's passing, I carry his Firefighter ID badge, alongside my work badge, so he can be close. I still miss our quick phone calls and I miss hearing him say "Si, todo bien" whenever I asked him how he was doing.
When going through a loss like this, it opens up your eyes to things and makes you see that a lot of things are not worth the energy spent on them. I really try hard to not let a lot of things get to me and to stay with me so I can free myself from negative energy. I try to understand things more and try to see things from other angles. It's a process for sure. But we'll get there.
Some days it's harder than others, but I know my Dad is with us. As long as I remember him, he will never truly be gone. He helped shape me and was a great man. He did his absolute best as a father, sacrificed and worked hard for us. I am truly thankful, I can never repay that to him, I try to pass it on to Javi and Gabriel.
But I see and feel my Dad around me more often than not. There are times that I see him in the way my kids act, the way I act and I remember good times that make us laugh out loud when out doing everyday activities.
Since I returned to work after my Dad's passing, I carry his Firefighter ID badge, alongside my work badge, so he can be close. I still miss our quick phone calls and I miss hearing him say "Si, todo bien" whenever I asked him how he was doing.
When going through a loss like this, it opens up your eyes to things and makes you see that a lot of things are not worth the energy spent on them. I really try hard to not let a lot of things get to me and to stay with me so I can free myself from negative energy. I try to understand things more and try to see things from other angles. It's a process for sure. But we'll get there.
Some days it's harder than others, but I know my Dad is with us. As long as I remember him, he will never truly be gone. He helped shape me and was a great man. He did his absolute best as a father, sacrificed and worked hard for us. I am truly thankful, I can never repay that to him, I try to pass it on to Javi and Gabriel.
One of the things that I always wanted to do was to name one of my kids after him. Although Javi's name is not exactly as my Dads. They share the first initial (J), middle (Heliodoro) and last name (Narvaez) it was for him, it was to show him that I really appreciated all he did for me, for us and that his sacrifices were noticed. He was amazing and I miss and love him every day.
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