It is what it is...

I am a very lucky man, I have a great wife, family and friends. Today I was thinking about a lot of things that happened to family and friends and even to current and past co-workers and it made me think of someone. A great influence in my life, my Father. My Father is a great man, he was always there for me, he made sure that I had what was needed and in most cases made sure I got the things I wanted. It's funny, that I hear most people say that they could only appreciate what their Father did for them after they had children of their own. But I don't see it that way.
I remember my Father taking me with him to work in Larkspur, waking up early and going there to hang out and run around the area while he worked. I also remember going to Giants games with him, how we had a season ticket pack for the Giants last season at Candlestick and the first time we went to Pacific Bell Park. He took me to wrestling events, movies, my sports games, baseball games, football games and too many other things to mention. One of the things I remember was playing card games with him and having a best of seven series that I called the World Series. I have always had a great relationship with my Father, even when we are mad at each other we don't stay mad too long.
I try to call my Father everyday, sometimes he will call first. We joke around and although he is in Nicaragua it's like he is here. When he visits, I try to visit him everyday that I can. My Father has trouble walking and it does hurt me to see him this way. I pray every night that somehow he will get better and walk normally again.
So, the reason that I wanted to write this 1) to give a shout out to my awesome Father (Thanks Dad) and 2) to write about a little of what he did and to make a statement to "Father's". so here goes...
Only because you can have children does not make you a "Father"! being a "Father" is much more then being a sperm donor. It's more then talking about what you are going to do, making shirts, tattoos, buying signs, posting pictures on Facebook, Twitter or anything of that sort. Boasting about what you supposed to do as a "Father" needs a "Dislike" button! It's like people who want credit for showing up to work on time, it is what you are supposed to do. I hear so called "Father's" say "I love my daughter, I would do anything for her" and then are no where to be found when they baby needs milk, a car seat, clothes, to be changed or just to even play. It is disheartening to know that there are good people out in the world who struggle with fertility and cannot have their own children, who would gladly get the milk, buy the car seat, clothes, change the baby and to play with their children. And people take it for granted.
Have a positive male role model can do so much for a child. Boys can take the example that their "Father" gives them and expand on it to grow and be a better Man and "Father". Girls can take the example their "Father" give them and see that there are true Men out there who will treat her with dignity and respect.
For every time you don't follow through on promises, or miss out on their game, too busy to play, yell at them because you forget that they are children, treat them bad out of frustration it only builds resentment and pain. I thank God everyday that I did not have to go through that. The worst thing a guy can do is treat his children like they don't matter, you should thank God that you have a healthy child that you can help guide through this world and make that your priority. I think that it is sad when going to a club, bar, party, movie or even a ball game is more important then spending time with your children. Don't get me wrong, we all our own time to do what we have to do, but nothing should be more important then that quality time with your kids.

I wrote the following from a perspective of children who don't have that 'Father' in their lives

"I looked around and you were no longer there,
it made wonder if you even cared?
You tell me time and again that you'll be there,
but when I take that swing, I look back and still you're not there.
Actions speak louder then words, and what you do says a lot.
I am tired of hurting because you feel that I am not worth the drive.
Because of your selfishness we have this divide,
did you know that because of your actions I will develop a complex deep inside?
At least I will have a chance to do better for my kids, I won't lie to them like you did.
I know how it feels to have my heart broken, I would never want my kids to feel the way
you made me feel and then made me feel bad for it.
I wish you could feel the hurt I have when I see other kids playing with their Dad,
it's just sad that you never learned to be a 'Father', never attended to your son or daughter.
But there is one thing that I can thank you for, is for showing me what it's like to not be
a 'Father', so I can make sure that I am always there for my sons and daughters.