It's been a rough few weeks for me, the issues with the truck, the stress of planning the 1st communion party, work adding a 4th in office day and life really. I don't know, it's getting harder to be positive about things and enjoy things to the fullest. Yesterday we went to the Giants game, where they swept the A's. It was fun but things that happened reminded me of what my role is within my family.
In the morning I woke up early and alone put the tables, chairs and other things away in the shed. Started moving the jumper so it could continue to dry. Got ready to go and when I wanted to start warming up the car, since others weren't ready I was given attitude for trying to leave when we said we were going to go. The drive down was smooth and we got to our parking spot, which was a good price. Maybe a 5-10 minute walk from the stadium. Once again, attitude given to me because of where we parked. I paid $26 for the spot, they were listed at $40 and above for the same spot.
We go and see the Q&A for the Little League day, use the restroom and went to go line up for the Little League Day parade. Javi was ok with the waiting but Gabe was acting up and I get that it was a long time, he was being way too much. After we walked around the field we entered the stadium and we had agreed to meet in the concourse of our section, but I guess that they wanted me to meet them at a different location. While I asked the boys to wait for them they started acting out like they hadn't eaten in 2 days so I got them food.
After we made the way to our seats, again there was some chatter about the seats. Then we had to go get food and ice cream and I missed part of the game. I tried to see if they wanted something else that was quicker, but nope, they didn't care. So I had to wait and miss the game. When I got to my seat I saw that they drank all the water I had packed up for us without a thought about is I had mine or if I wanted water and I was upset, but of course, that was my fault that I was upset that they took my water.
The walk back to the car was more of the same. Complaining about the walk. When we got home I offered to make the boys chicken tacos, they said no. So when I was done making food for me and my wife and ready to eat.. here they come out to ask for chicken tacos. So I had to do that at the same time while eating. The boys went out to do some hitting off a tee and practice pitching.
After some time Gabriel was getting mad and because I wasn't making things easy for him he started yelling and he destroyed my Giants hat. All because he cannot control his anger. I was really mad and went for a walk. It made me wonder if me being a coach for them is causing these issues and I'm considering not coaching anymore because of it.
Here is the thing, because the boys were upset, my wife was upset and all of it was my fault again. My fault that they don't have any consideration for me, my fault they don't listen, my fault that they are mad that I'm mad that they are disrespectful.
I'm doubting so many things right now, it's very frustrating. I feel like I have no support, but I continue to support everyone. So I don't know, I'm pretty much done with all of it. Maybe I continue coaching, maybe I don't, I have to see what is going to be better for my relationships. One thing I feel is that the lack of support and consideration is not going to change. One thing I know for sure is that no one cares....
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